Something 2 Say

Hey all. I know it's been a while since I've updated on this blog. I had a website that is now defunct. I decided to visit you all and get some things off my chest. Cry. Crying. I think that it is a form of weakness. So much so, that I don't cry. I haven't cried since my grandmother passed in 1997. Don't get me wrong. There are DEFINITELY  some things that makes me want to cry, but I just can't let the tears fall. I'm sitting here listening to Mariah Carey's "Cry" and drinking rum. Yeah, that's a bad combo, I know because now it has me thinking. One thing well two things that I think are this: I miss my husband (now ex-husband) and I miss the little girl that I see as my daughter. I can't help but to think of my marriage and wonder if there was something that could be done.Of course I know there isn't, but my mind won't allow me to think anything but. Also, there's a little girl that I wanted to adopt. Her paren

I promise!!!!

  I have often said that I want to know what love is. I was so sure that I’ve never felt it before. In light of recent incidents, I’ve come to the realization that I do know what it is. I’ve known for a long time.  Two weeks ago, I lost my grandmother, Grandma Brenda. She was my granddad’s 5 th wife, but I knew of her outside of my actual biological grandmama. I remember that Grandma Brenda was pretty, quiet, and nice. I’ve never heard her raise her voice. At her wake and funeral, other people also thought that she was quiet. I have heard that when she did speak, she meant what she said. I also remember that often, Grandma Brenda would come over to bring me something, or just come to talk to my Grandmama (my mother’s mother;  my granddad’s first wife). I thought it odd or weird then that the former wife had a friendly relationship with the current wife. I then learned that that was part of being an adult. Grandmama didn’t have a problem with Brenda, and Brenda didn’t

Today, the Supreme Court ruled that ALL people have a right to marry. I then proceeded to social media (which was a super huge mistake on my part. I admit that.) and saw that my Facebook feed was littered with statuses both positive and negative about it. I normally don't comment or post on hot-button issues because I honestly don't have time or the patience to defend my views to some  bigoted and closed minded, hateful people. I am all for people having their own thoughts, but some of the statuses and comments were just truly ridiculous. People that I've known for over ten years, spewing hatred. Not thoughts, no ideas, just straight hatred, and my thought is why? Why is there so much hatred and outrage for people who want to express one thing: Love How is it hurting you? Of course we all hear from the bible thumpers that express how it is a sin. The last time I checked, all sin was equal. For all sin, the wage is death. What makes this one so unforgivable? How do

Okay, so I have a serious problem. Well, not super serious, but whatever. It seems as though I’m always attracted to people that I can’t have. This has been since childhood on. Maybe it’s the thought of attaining the unattainable or something. I don’t know. Anyway, I've developed this super huge crush on this guy, and it’s been like six years. I’m drawn to this guy for a number of reasons. Primarily, he makes me laugh. Someone told me that I was a nurturer and I can see that with the types of guys that I fall for. They need help in some kind of capacity. One of them, I’m amazed has made it through life, but that’s another story. There’s a lot that I know of the guy in question, and even with this information I find myself asking “Why?” Why do I like this guy? Why am I crushing so hard and for so long? Especially when I know that he’s not the best. I mean, he currently cheats; a lot. That’s the main negative quality that I’m willing to say.   I do have a question:

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