Friend or Foe pt. 2

Hi all,

So… Remember my earlier post about a certain friend? Well that friendship is no longer. ***BE WARNED this is going to be a very LONG post, so if you don’t have the patience, exit now.***

Names have been changed so that I’m not totally putting his business out there.

I met my Darryl through an app, Jack’d if you must know and saw that he had other social media listed such as his instagram. I then started following him there. On his birthday one year, I left a comment stating that I’d like to buy him a drink. We ended up exchanging numbers and then exchanged the occasional text, still never meeting. One day, I texted him asking how his day was going in which he replied bad. His temporary assignment has ended and he was now without a job. He also stated that he was extremely stressed and didn’t know what to do. I then told him to forward his resume to me and I’ll see what I can do. I then forward his resume to my former supervisor and stated that he’d be great for the job because he has prior call center experience, and his assignment ended and he was not “terminated.” She took his resume, forwarded it to HR, they called him in for an interview, and boom! He got a job with us.

I finally met him for the first time his first day of training. Our communication got stronger and pretty soon we were texting every day. He would discuss his problems with me, I would discuss my issues, we would visit each other… friend shit. He then tells me about his goddaughter, Reagan. He stated that her mother, Brenda, was thinking of giving her up. I’ve always wanted kids. I even got licensed through the state to become a foster/adoptive parent. I met the little girl a couple of months later and instantly fell in love with her. I got the opportunity to play with her more often as she was over his house and I visited. I got her for the weekend once, and I took her to my mom’s house and the family went crazy over her. We then went to the aquarium and made a whole day of it. I expressed my interest to my friend that if her mom was serious about it, I would strongly consider adopting her. He stated okay. About a week later, he states that the mom doesn't want to give her up now, because she and her husband, Christopher, which happens to be a good friend of Darryl’s. I said fine. Christopher then states that he is divorcing Brenda, and moves in with Darryl and his boyfriend Jamal. Confused yet?

I noticed then that my interactions with Reagan were less and less. As a matter of fact, I haven’t seen Reagan since Christopher moved in. Christopher then stated that he would try to make things work with Brenda, just to call it quits two weeks later. Brenda then discovers that she was pregnant. She was five months in and had no knowledge that she was knocked up. She ended up going to the doctor, and the doctor informed her that the child had a heart defect. She was then thinking of terminating the pregnancy. So, I thought well if she doesn’t want it, then I’ll just adopt that one. I informed Darryl of that, and he stated that he would speak with Brenda. He then informs me a few days later, that Brenda said she would keep the baby. All right. Shit.

Come to find out that the baby actually died in utero, and she was going to have a procedure done to remove the baby. This was done, and the baby was a boy. Christopher and Brenda then ended up back together. Then Darryl informed me that Christopher and Brenda wanted to have a talk with Darryl because they wanted to try for another baby, and give it to him. I’ll admit, I did have some anger that may have been displaced. In my opinion, Darryl didn’t need another child running around the house. He already had his niece that he has shared custody of as well as his three other god children. He himself has stated that. I eventually let that go, and continued on. (they eventually decided to not have the baby for him because yet again, Christopher has called it quits with Brenda) I then notice little comments he would make about how Reagan was there, this that and the other. I’ve on multiple occasions stated that if she was there, let me know because I want to see her etc. It just always conveniently slips his mind. (I’m eventually getting to the point)

Darryl ended up going to the doctor and having surgery. I visited him as soon as he got home, and pretty much every day since then for the following two months. I also made dinner for him and Jamal and Christopher on an occasion. I also ran some errands for him to ensure that he didn’t get out before his time, you know, being a friend. (mind you when I was sick he not once came over to my place to see how he could help or whatever. ) He informs me later on sometime in January that his real good friend, Marvin (who is Christopher’s brother) was being released from jail. I say oh, okay and didn’t think too much of it. I then ask what will they be doing for Reagan’s birthday, because I stated that I would like to do something for her, whether it’s put money on it or something. He stated that it would be between Chuck e. Cheese or something else. He then stated that Brenda said that they wanted to do a private party at Darryl’s home because she “doesn’t want to deal with a bunch of people and frankly neither do I.” Seeing as how I wasn’t invited to the Christmas program to see Reagan, citing that it was due to a certain amount of tickets to go see her, and those were given to family supposedly. I feel that I was being lied to, but I left it alone. 

Early February, Marvin was released from jail. Darryl stated that he had to go get Reagan from school because she wasn't feeling well. He states that he hated to get her out in the weather (at the time it was cold and rainy) but he had to because he had errands to run that day and the rest of the week. I then stated that I didn't have any classes that week, so I can go ahead and take off and watch her while he runs the errands. He then said that he will get back with me and let me know. It was getting later on in the day and I texted him to see what the plan was so that I can put the days in. He then stated that his mother could watch her. Okay… but she couldn’t watch her when he was running errands. She doesn't work. Then he lets the truth slip. Marvin who was released from jail, who Reagan has never met because he’s been in jail long before she was even alive, was watching her… okay. My thoughts were why when you have someone who she knows and whom I’m sure would be more comfortable with was available to care for her? Okay. I can really see where this is going.

I promise I’m getting to it now:

So, today I get a text from Darryl asking if I was going to a mutual co-worker’s birthday party. I informed Darryl that no, I wasn’t because I was not invited and I didn’t know about it. He then proceeds to tell me that he may go depending on how things go with Reagan’s party this weekend… Err… what? Okay. So you were planning on having Reagan’s party this weekend and you did not notify me. He then proceeds to say that he may move it because this weekend, it is supposed to sleet and snow. He also said that he sent out invites and everything. I guess mine got lost in the mail. He then says that the crisis is adverted because he is just going to move it to next weekend, and Jamal is going to take him out of town this weekend to see his best friend. The wheels in my head start turning because I feel that this is bullshit. I don’t even bother responding to the text. What I’m really thinking is “bitch ain’t nobody stupid. You’re gonna have the party this weekend and using that lame ass excuse as an alibi because you done fucked up and let me know that she was having a birthday party and that you did not invite me.” So I wonder what lie he comes up with, when I ask if I could go the party next weekend.

What it all boils down to is, I don’t think that her parents want me around her. I reached out to him, it was confirmed. They thought that I was getting too close to her, and it put him in a position. He claimed that he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Do I portray such a magnitude of weakness that I could be that easily brought down? I mean, yes, it sucks but hey, it is their right as her parents to say who they want around their child. My issue is if this is the case, then TELL ME! Don’t beat around the bush and be like “Oh, you just missed her,” and bull like that. I don’t appreciate that. I am the type of person where I’m going to be blunt, direct and honest. I expect you, as my friend, to do the damn same. That’s just how I feel. If we’re going to be friends, we should have that type of openness where things can be discussed like I discussed this shit with him. So, that’s it in a nutshell. We fell out because you couldn’t be upfront with me. There are other things, but that’s the main thing. I got to thinking, is it me? Am I just that bad to be around or that messed up that you feel that you can’t talk to me, or invite me places? He stated that me being that close put him in a position because he was godfather, and I understand that so in order to get him out of that position and un-complicate things, I'll remove myself. Like seriously. What the fuck? Well, whatever.

I’m over it now. #unbothered.

Thank you so much for sticking with me during all that. Talk to y’all later.

Till then…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        --Me.